Prior to the separation of my marriage, I had been a stay-at-home mom for nearly 7 years. I had worked part-time (during the day when the kids were in school) but for the most part, I was home when my family left for the day and home when they returned. I kept the house and finances in order and helped with homework every day! Dinner was on the table by 6pm every evening and we did pretty much everything as a family.
When the decision is made to separate or divorce, entire lives are changed over- night!
After the separation, keeping as much continuity for the kids was very important to me. I kept them in the same school and the same church and attended all the same activities for as long as it was feasible to do so.
My son eventually took the hardest hit of all. While children ideally need both parents in their lives, daughters need their mothers and sons need their dads. I can teach my son many things, but I am ill-equipped to teach him how to be a man, though God gave me the grace to do the best I could. Being the only male in the home eventually became very difficult for him and he jokingly referred to our home as "estrogen-ville".
My son eventually took the hardest hit of all. While children ideally need both parents in their lives, daughters need their mothers and sons need their dads. I can teach my son many things, but I am ill-equipped to teach him how to be a man, though God gave me the grace to do the best I could. Being the only male in the home eventually became very difficult for him and he jokingly referred to our home as "estrogen-ville".
I know it was hard for him, I was always a little over-protective to begin with, but after the separation, I was even more so. He was having a difficult time adjusting to life without his dad around and so my brother and my Pastor as well as Youth Leaders in our church were stepping in to give him some "guy time". This was very helpful for the most part. The best advice I can give you is to communicate, communicate, communicate!! No one knows your children better than you do and others who get involved should remember that these are not their kids they are yours.
So the moral of this particular story is: Maintain some continuity for your children's everyday lives and communicate with teachers, family members and anyone else who is interacting with your child on a regular basis! And pray... pray... pray with your kids daily. Preferably in the morning... starting your day on the same page is HUGE!
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