SOMETIMES, THE ANSWER IS "NONE-YA"

I'm always looking for ways to reduce stress in my life and over the years I've done a pretty good job of recognizing the things that create stress for me personally.  I've mentioned a few of them in previous blogs... over-committing, allowing negative thought processes to go on auto-pilot and another BIG one is trying to make everyone happy!

We've all heard the old saying, "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!"  People are fickle... what pleases them one day, may not please them the next. And there always seems to be that one individual whom you can't please no matter what you do.  Start focusing on what makes YOU happy! I'm not saying that what makes others happy isn't important, I'm saying that when you find yourself in the predicament of differing opinions, sometimes you just have to do what is best for you.

When a disagreement occurs, ask yourself:

1.  Is this person even entitled to have an opinion in this situation?

2.  Is this person's opinion important to me or to the situation?

3.  Is this a relationship that is important to me?

How you answer these 3 questions is vital to consider before deciding how to respond (or NOT respond in some cases).  

Let's look at each question to make the determination a little easier:

1. Is this person even entitled to have an opinion in this situation?  

I'm sure many of you have run into a co-worker or family member or friend who can't seem to keep their nose out of other people's business including yours.  Are they genuinely trying to be helpful, or are they just being nosy and pushy because they don't understand what a boundary is?

2.  Is this person's opinion important to me or the situation?

I don't know about you but I carefully consider those people whose advise I value.  There are some whom I esteem highly and whom I feel contribute something positive to my life.  That list is VERY short.  Most everyone else may fall into a different category.  And someone from the long list may eventually make it onto my short list, but that's another blog post entirely :)  The bottom line here is that while you may choose to listen to the opinions of the 'long list' people, they may not be the right opinions to consider when making important decisions.  

3.  Is this a relationship that is important to me?

Some people may  not be on your short list, but their involvement in your life is important (a family member or co-worker/supervisor, etc.).  If you're not sure what to do in cases like these... sometimes no response is the best response.  If someone asks you a direct question, then I think you have to be honest with them but if you are positive that an honest answer is going to really hurt someone and the subject matter isn't life-threatening, silence is sometimes the right answer.

Best policy in the world... mind your own business.

But at the same time, make sure you are taking
care of your own business before 
you speak into someone else's life!