CONTROL...

SOMETIMES, THE ANSWER IS "NONE-YA"

I'm always looking for ways to reduce stress in my life and over the years I've done a pretty good job of recognizing the things that create stress for me personally.  I've mentioned a few of them in previous blogs... over-committing, allowing negative thought processes to go on auto-pilot and another BIG one is trying to make everyone happy!

We've all heard the old saying, "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!"  People are fickle... what pleases them one day, may not please them the next. And there always seems to be that one individual whom you can't please no matter what you do.  Start focusing on what makes YOU happy! I'm not saying that what makes others happy isn't important, I'm saying that when you find yourself in the predicament of differing opinions, sometimes you just have to do what is best for you.

When a disagreement occurs, ask yourself:

1.  Is this person even entitled to have an opinion in this situation?

2.  Is this person's opinion important to me or to the situation?

3.  Is this a relationship that is important to me?

How you answer these 3 questions is vital to consider before deciding how to respond (or NOT respond in some cases).  

Let's look at each question to make the determination a little easier:

1. Is this person even entitled to have an opinion in this situation?  

I'm sure many of you have run into a co-worker or family member or friend who can't seem to keep their nose out of other people's business including yours.  Are they genuinely trying to be helpful, or are they just being nosy and pushy because they don't understand what a boundary is?

2.  Is this person's opinion important to me or the situation?

I don't know about you but I carefully consider those people whose advise I value.  There are some whom I esteem highly and whom I feel contribute something positive to my life.  That list is VERY short.  Most everyone else may fall into a different category.  And someone from the long list may eventually make it onto my short list, but that's another blog post entirely :)  The bottom line here is that while you may choose to listen to the opinions of the 'long list' people, they may not be the right opinions to consider when making important decisions.  

3.  Is this a relationship that is important to me?

Some people may  not be on your short list, but their involvement in your life is important (a family member or co-worker/supervisor, etc.).  If you're not sure what to do in cases like these... sometimes no response is the best response.  If someone asks you a direct question, then I think you have to be honest with them but if you are positive that an honest answer is going to really hurt someone and the subject matter isn't life-threatening, silence is sometimes the right answer.

Best policy in the world... mind your own business.

But at the same time, make sure you are taking
care of your own business before 
you speak into someone else's life!

IT WILL BE WORTH IT!

I NEVER SAID

IT WOULD BE EASY...

I SAID IT WOULD

BE WORTH IT!

RELEASE YOUR SUPER KUNG-FU GRIP!

"Do not despise humble beginnings..."  That's what I heard this morning as I was sitting on the deck in front of our chimnea, drinking coffee and staring at the birds.  My initial thought was, "What do you mean, 'humble beginnings'... I've been on top for a long time.  I'm just going through a little speed bump here... that's all.  I'll recover from this little set-back and keep climbing!  There IS no humble or small beginning... I've already begun!"  

The revelation I had next was hard to hear but it was true and needed to be meditated on.

Sometimes it may appear that something you did that was "once great" has ended in an epic failure.  That all of your blood, sweat and tears were for nothing.  When the truth is that God has been trying to bring you out of a season and into the next.  But because you are holding onto that "once great thing" with a super-kung-fu grip, He's had to allow the inevitable cave-in to happen.  

The journey of this life is ever-evolving and ever-changing as we grow spiritually and emotionally.  

If you allow Him to... God will always do BIG things in your life.  He will use you in a BIG way to do something significant for Him.  But in order for Him to do that, you have to be willing to let earthly things that you no longer need to slip through your fingers like sand when He directs you to.   That "once great" thing may have been pretty cool, but if you did it on your own steam and He wasn't a part of it, you are truly selling yourself and God short.  His ways are not our ways and sometimes things happen that are hard to understand but the minute you let go of YOUR thing, He begins to do a New thing.

Matthew 3:12 says His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.”

The word chaff means, "the husks of grains and grasses that are separated during threshing.

So in essence God wants to burn away the husks (useless parts/baggage) of your life so that the grain and grasses (useful parts) can emerge afresh and be used to take you to something GREATER! It burns a little, but when it all heals up... it's a beautiful thing.